Love Is A Choice, Not A Feeling
When I was in 6th grade my parents FINALLY allowed me to date.
I loved flirting with the boys and had a lot of short-lived relationships. As I grew up and moved on to high school, I continued this short relationship pattern. By the time I was a Sophomore in high school, my longest relationship had been 5 months… that’s right - only 5 months!! I always broke it off the guys for various, ridiculous reasons.
I’m sure my parents rolled their eyes every time they found out why.
One of the times I broke up with a boy, I tried to explain why to my dad - I don’t remember now, but I’m sure the reason was embarrassingly dumb. He stopped me and said, “Kid, love isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice. Sometimes it takes some work on BOTH ends to keep the relationship going.”
Obviously, I disagreed and couldn’t believe the awful advice he had just given me.
Well, later Sophomore year I started dating Cameron (after swearing to myself I was going to take a break from dating boys). I went from not being able to stay in a relationship longer than 5 months, to marrying my high school sweetheart.
And you know what? My dad was right. Love is definitely a CHOICE.
I’m learning that we never marry the “right” person and that no matter who we end up with, there will ALWAYS be challenges. There will ALWAYS be times that we want to quit. There will ALWAYS be times of doubt. But, what really matters is that during those times we make the CHOICE to work through it together and continue to choose to love one another.
I believe that the “feeling” of love we feel is temporary.
It’s the “honeymoon” stage. And we ALL know that wears off eventually! However, the “choice” of love lasts as long as you keep CHOOSING it.
When the honeymoon stage is over, and things get hard, and we start to see all the little annoying things our partner does - we have to stop and make that choice.
Love is CHOICE, not a FEELING.